The concept of knowing if he is the right one can sound a little cheesy. But did you know that 73% of Americans believe in the idea of soulmates? And that 74% of men and 71% of women believe they are fated to, one day, find that elusive one true love?
In some scientific ways, soulmates do exist – but not quite in the way you might think! This is according to licensed psychologist Shauna H Springer, who researches lifestyle and relationships. She says that people can become a soulmate to each other over time in a good relationship.
What does this mean? Basically, you might not start out soulmates. But if you and your partner love each other and are in a healthy, positive relationship, you could grow into each other’s soul mates. This is why it’s important to make sure your boyfriend truly is perfect for you. Here are some signs he is the right one!
HERE ARE 10 SIGNS HE IS THE RIGHT ONE
“When you finally meet the right one for you, it suddenly becomes clear why everyone else was so wrong.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
When you encounter troubles, your goals should be to discuss things and find understanding of each other – not to “win” the argument. This means validating emotions while presenting facts. If you have something to say, if he is the right one, he will listen to you without blowing you off or calling you emotional.
In addition, you know this communication is always honest. You trust what he says and he believes what you say. Additionally, you know that if he ever has a problem with what you’re doing, he will tell you. You won’t be given the silent treatment or be forced to guess what the matter is. That’s a soulmate-type relationship
2. YOUR SOULMATE GETS ALONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
When you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to see its flaws. When you really love someone, it can be difficult to notice red flags. But those outside your relationship don’t wear those rose-colored glasses.
If your closest friends or trusted family members, who care about you genuinely, don’t trust your boyfriend, listen to them. Of course, their word isn’t gospel – but if they’re looking out for you, pay them heed. They might notice something that your rose-tinted glasses hinder you from spotting.
If friends or family express concerns, ask them why they feel this way. Listen to their opinions. If there’s a misunderstanding, you can clear it up quickly. If it’s something more serious, you can reconsider whether your partner is truly your soulmate. If he is the right one for you, your loved ones should be able to see this as well.
3. YOU ALWAYS WANT TO SHARE THINGS WITH HIM, AND HE WITH YOU.
Whenever you get positive news, you find yourself running to this person the most. Whenever you get negative news, you have the same reaction. For some reason, you feel compelled to share life developments with him – and he feels the same way toward you.
These don’t have to be just big things, either. Maybe you two enjoy trading stories about your day. More importantly, you two enjoy listening to each other’s stories. You will both always have your ears open for the other, even when you’re not very familiar with the subject at hand.
A communicative relationship like this means you both trust each other and can rely on each other. You know you can always come to him with your troubles and he will be there for you – a sure sign of a soulmate!
4. HE IS SUPPORTIVE, AS THE RIGHT ONE SHOULD BE.
You know your boyfriend has your back and you can come to him with anything and everything. You feel confident that he will help you in any way that he can, and you know you would do the same for him.
This can come in the form of him listening to your problems, or by helping you out physically in any way he can. He might help whittle down your to-do list when you’re too busy. He’ll do extra chores when you’re having a bad day.
Support is crucial in long-lasting relationships. Analysis of 1,100 studies on relationships revealed that helping each other out in a variety of ways is how couples are able to stay together. So if your boyfriend is the right one for you, he should be helping you where he can, and you, him.
5. HE TAKES THE TIME TO PLAN THINGS
A man who eagerly puts in the effort to plan dates to your liking isn’t rare, but it is appreciated. But planning doesn’t just apply to dates. It also applies to more serious, complicated, and important events.
You’ll want a partner who regularly brings out his planner to help you figure out an upcoming vacation. He will help sort out the grocery list and organize your errand day. He will surprise you with an outing every now and then and it shows that he put lots of thought into it. That’s a keeper!
This is because planning is a management activity. Many individuals make the mistake of believing that managerial tasks like this are easy. If he’s doing his half of the planning, he’ll likely do his half of the chores and labor, too. And who doesn’t want that in a soulmate?
6. YOU’VE SEEN EACH OTHER AT YOUR WORST AND YOU LOVE EACH OTHER NONETHELESS.
This doesn’t just mean you can be as dressed down as possible and still find each other attractive. (That is a lovely relationship dynamic, though!) It applies to more than just the superficial, and it’s about more than just appearances.
Your boyfriend has seen you at your lowest, ugliest points. He’s seen you when you’re cracking under pressure. He has seen how you shout when you’re angry. He’s known what it’s like to be with you when you’re grieving. And he is still here, and still loves you unconditionally.
This is a sure sign that the love runs deep. If he’s already seen you in those situations and has continued to stand by your side, he might just be the right one that you’ve sought! Do note this means you should also love him at his worst, too!
7. HE’S OPENLY SAID THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHT ONE – AND HE ACTS LIKE IT.
Sometimes, people can be frightened of commitment. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people – it just means they might not be ready to even think about the “right one” yet at all. So a partner who tells you he loves you wants to be with you forever is on the right track!
Of course, people can say things they don’t mean. That’s why he has to act like it, too. Don’t tolerate someone who can talk the talk but not walk the walk! But if your boyfriend follows through on his big words, then believe him: if you’re his soulmate, and you feel the same way, it’s a match made in heaven.
8. HE HAS BOUNDARIES AND RESPECTS YOURS.
This ties in somewhat with communication but is a little different. Many people make the mistake of believing that setting boundaries means the relationship is bad. In reality, boundaries are important in healthy relationships, so you’ll want your soulmate to have them, says clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.
It’s important for partners to ask questions and for permission in order to avoid crossing personal boundaries. Someone who respects that your “yes” means yes and your “no” means no is someone you’ll be happy to date.
Clearly setting boundaries will also allow you both to have healthy discussions instead of shouting matches. This points to a happier long-term life together, not to mention better problem-solving methods.
9. YOU TRUST HIM UNCONDITIONALLY AND HE PROVES YOU CAN.
You’re never worried that your boyfriend might be cheating. If he’s out late, your first concern is for his safety, not that his getting cozy with someone else. You don’t feel the need to snoop, and if you’re ever worried, you know you can tell him and he’ll show you his phone and emails. (And you’d do the same, of course!)
This doesn’t mean you won’t have intrusive thoughts. Sometimes, you may struggle with your own unfounded feelings of jealousy. But through it all, positive thinking wins over. You know logically that he will never do you wrong.
If you know you can trust your boyfriend no matter what, he’s a keeper. Trust is a key factor in the security of attachment: a clear sign that he could be your soulmate.
10. YOU JUST KNOW HE’S YOUR SOULMATE.
Sometimes, you just know. You could have an epiphany one day, or it can be an instinctual tug of the gut. Whatever it is, it will make you realize that this man is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
The voice inside your head is more accurate than you think. Not to be confused with gut instincts, intuition is analytical and intelligent. While not always entirely accurate, following your intuition – especially when you have support from others – can be a fantastic decision.
This isn’t to say you should ignore advice from those who care about you since they’re able to view your relationship from an unbiased perspective. This doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags. It just means that sometimes, the heart knows what’s good for it – and in those times, it’s okay to listen.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON SIGNS HE IS THE RIGHT ONE
The search for your soulmate can definitely seem daunting. But when you realize that a soulmate can simply be a good person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it becomes easier. You may have met your soulmate already and simply not realized it!
We place a lot of importance on this idea of being “destined” for someone else. At the end of the day, if he treats you well, loves you unconditionally, and exhibits these signs – well, my friend, you might have been lucky enough to find The One!
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